My baby is a month old already!

As of last night Camille is already a month old! I can't believe it!

Is it horrible that my first thought was '1 month of breastfeeding down- 11 more to go!' I almost feel guilty that I'm not 'enjoying' breastfeeding. Every once in a while when I look down at her while she's eating I have an 'aww' moment.. and it feels really good to be providing for my child the way I am.. but it's been so much more of a struggle than I anticipated. We're still using the shield, she is still not latching consistently.. I have to pull her off all the time and try over and over to get her on properly constantly. I blame everything on the shield, but I feel awful that I'm still having those 'I swear I'm throwing in the towel!' moments.