5 things I didn't expect,

5 Things I did not expect to experience as a new mom.

• Pregnancy brain turned into baby brain.
• For those of you who are not familiar with pregnancy brain (or baby brain for that matter) remember that time you got really drunk in high school when your parents were out of town? You walked into the kitchen and couldn't remember what you were there for, so you went back to your room and remembered you wanted cereal.. so you go back to the kitchen for cereal, only when you arrive you can't remember what you went in there for (again.. wtf right?).. so you stand in the kitchen staring at the cupboards for 10 minutes before checking the fridge. You find the cereal in the fridge and remember that the cereal is what you came to the kitchen for... but what on earth is the cereal doing in the fridge? That is what pregnancy brain is like.. sans drunkenness.. Baby brain is twice as bad. I needed to clean a mess up in the kitchen yesterday and looked in the fridge, trash, and bathroom before realizing that I meant to grab a rag out of the drawer next to the sink. I'm not sure if it's hormones, exhaustion, or a combination of the two. Either way- I did not expect this flaky forgetfulness that started during pregnancy to continue on into motherhood.
•  Fluids
• So.. I fully expected to be covered in puke, pee, and poopy.. I stocked up on receiving blankets and burpy cloths for a reason.. the one fluid I did not expect to be drowning in every day was my own breast milk. Really? Breast milk? Yes. It gets everywhere. All over baby, all over boppy, all over mommy. I've had to change my shirt, my pants, and C's sleeper before. "What?! Your pants?!" you might be wondering? I'll explain. The first few days the milk comes in.. it leaks. Everywhere. Those first few days of BFing are really difficult. Little one is learning what to do, you are learning how to hold little one, it's painful.. it's not a simple process.. and engorged boobs are sensitive! The solution? Feed little one while topless. The problem? The side you are not feeding on leaks.. a lot. The result? When the feeding is over, little one needs a new outfit.. and you're smelling your pants to make sure you didn't get peed on. 
•  Breast feeding is difficult and painful (only at first)
• I knew it was going to be difficult because I read up on it a lot while I was pregnant, but I did not expected it to be as physically and emotionally taxing as it was. The first few days were absolute hell. C didn't latch properly right away (the nurses and lactation consultant assured me that it was fairly common for smaller babies) so we had to use a shield, and I had to pump to get what tiny bit of colostrum (the precursor to milk) I could to supplement the feedings because C wouldn't stay on long enough to get what she needed. I pretty much lived topless the first 3 days at the hospital. The lanolin, and ointment they gave me did little to ease the pain, and I felt like the biggest failure in the world when I had to use a machine, and a syringe (with a straw not a needle) in order to feed my child. The nursing staff and lactation consultant were tremendously helpful those first few days. I think if they had not been so supportive I might have caved in and started giving her formula, or exclusively pumped and bottle fed. I am so glad that the staff was so helpful to me. Their kind words of support, and all the advice they gave me rang in my ears every time I was crying over my infant at 4am ready to throw in the towel. New moms, and moms to be- Don't be too quick to throw in the towel. Don't get me wrong. BFing isn't for everyone, and some women really are physically incapable of doing it.. but if you're able to, and you're having second thoughts because it's difficult- don't give up. It gets better after the first few weeks, I promise. It's one of the most emotionally rewarding things I've been able to share with my child so far. I'm grateful every day that I am able to do it. 
• Newborn poop is loud.
• Very loud.. like.. you can hear it from across the room.. with the TV up. It's hilarious! Also, while we are on the subject.. I also didn't expect to get so much enjoyment out of cleaning it up. Let me clarify- I'm not lining up at daycares to change newborn diapers.. I just mean that I find it amusing when she 'makes a poopie' (that's how I refer to it) and I'm surprised that my natural reaction to C filling a dipe is to giggle and excitedly talk her through the changing process. 
• Murphy's law applies to everything  you do.
• As soon as you take away the dirty diaper baby has to pee again. As soon as you get the fresh diaper on, and the thousand snaps on baby's sleeper snapped.. they have to poop again. Every time you think you'll be all set without the nursing pads you leak all over your shirt... in public. Baby only spits up during burping is when you are not protected by a burp cloth. You get the idea.