A survey!

With a short update first!
I've discovered that the noise of the shower instantly calms Camille when she is fighting a nap. My only problem is getting her downstairs, asleep in my arms without her waking up before I put her in the bassinet. It's possible, but tricky. Even so.. the shower is my new secret weapon!

I'm getting really sick of being broke. We have all of our bills paid, and we always have food and everything we need, but there is absolutely NO room for error (like Neil accidentally dropping $200 bucks while we're out shopping/bill paying on the weekend.. guess he'll never just "forget" that I told him to deposit his paycheck as opposed to cashing it ever again will he? It's much easier to replace a lost debit card than it is to replace $200 lost dollars) or extras (like a nursing bra that ACTUALLY supports these planets that are currently lazily strapped to my chest with the flimsy stretchy $11 walmart special. It's comfortable (sometimes) for around the house.. but it would be nice to put the girls (I call them Laverne and Shirly) in something that actually holds them up properly and doesn't show in the neckline of EVERY FREAKING SHIRT I OWN! GAH!

Oh! The week and a half of rain finally cleared up so I strapped Camille into the stroller yesterday and brought her down to the mailbox in it. I LOVE how the sun visor has a little clear vynil window in it so I can see her.. but it reflects the sun a lot so I have to actually bend down and stick my face up to it to see her. Lol.

Ok, so it was a long update. Time for the survey!

1. What is your name?

Ashley

2. How many children did you have before this pregnancy/birth?

None

3. How old were you when you found out you were pregnant?

22

4. How old were/will you be when you gave/give birth?

23

5. How old are you now?

23

6. Were you trying to get pregnant?

Nope

7. If you were, how long did it take?

-Well I wasn't trying.. but I can tell you it only takes ONE time without protection haha

8. How far along were you when you found out you were pregnant?

5 weeks I think

9. Did/will you attend any birthing or breastfeeding classes?

Nope

10. Did/Do you have a birth plan?

I didn't want to set anything in stone, because I didn't want to look back on it and be disappointed if it didn't go according to plan. 

11. What books (if any) did/are you read(ing) to prepare for pregnancy and childbirth?

What to expect when you're expecting, and Your Pregnancy and childbirth

12. Were/are you considered a high risk pregnancy?

No

13. Were/are you afraid of childbirth?

I was terrified of possibly needing a C-section

14. Were you/have you been told a lot of childbirth horror stories during your pregnancy?

No, not really.

15. Was your labor induced?

I begged Neil for sex about 2 hours before I went into labor because I heard that it works to induce labor. Apparently it does. lol So I wasn't induced medically.. but I wasn't in labor before we did the deed.. and I was shortly after.. so I guess we self induced. 

16. Where did/will you give birth (hospital, home, etc.)?

Midcoast.

17. What time did you go into labor?

Erm.. early labor started around 2-3 am

18. How long were you in labor?

About 19 hours

19. What time did you give birth?

10:22pm March 14th, 2011

20. How many weeks pregnant were you when your baby was born?

40 weeks 2 days

21. Who all was/will be in attendance at your birth?

Neil and my Mommy :)

22. Did you find out the sex of the baby before it was born?

Yes

23. What sort of pain management (if any)did/will you use (epidural, natural methods, hypnosis)?

I had planned to at least try for a natural birth with no pain medication.. but back labor changed my mind. I had a shot of nubaine while I was waiting for the epidural, then whatever they had in the epi that made the whole lower half of my body go fuzzy.

24. How did/will you deliver (c-section, forceps, vaginally with no mechanical assistance, etc)?

Vaginally

25. Did you have an episiotomy?

No, and no tearing.

26. Did they take the baby from you immediately?

They cleaned her off, and cleaned her airways out and I got to hold her until I delivered the placenta and Neil cut the cord. They took her after that.

27. Did/do you want to breastfeed?

Yes. 

28. How long did/will you breastfeed?

2.5 months so far. I plan to breastfeed for a year. 

29. Did your baby have any health problems?

A little jaundice at first because she wasn't latching properly, but other than that no.

30. How long did you stay in the hospital?

I got there monday around 430.. and didn't get to leave until friday afternoon.

31. Did you experience postpartum depression?

It comes and goes. 

32. If your baby is a boy, did/will you have him circumcised?

I have a girl, but if I had a boy I would absolutely not circumcise him.

33. What advice would you give to other women about birth and/or pregnancy?

If you plan to go natural, practice some kind of technique to help you relax through/cope with the pain... I feel like if I had done this instead of just winging it I would have been able to do it. Remember to breathe, and don't be afraid to speak up or ask for anything when you are laboring. 

Thanks anyway, RE: Unsolicited parenting advice.

This is not directed at anyone specifially, I've just had enough with all of the unsolicited/bad advice. I'm no veteran mom but I've done my homework on the hot topics and made decisions I'm comfortable with based on the research I have done.

You absolutely cannot possibly spoil  a newborn. Yes, I pick my child up every.time.she.cries. She is less than 6 months old. She cries because she needs me, even if it is just for comfort. There is a reason humans are born with all of these basic instincts. Obviously if I'm in the shower and she wakes up she has to wait until I can power through the towel dry/getting dressed process... but I do not ans will not just let my baby cry herself to sleep because I need a break. The grossly missunderstood "cry it out" method should not be used until 6 months, because newborns do not know how to self sooth/self regulate their emotions that early. Also, "cry it out" does not mean let your baby scream until they exhaust themselves and fall asleep. When done properly, you let baby cry for a very short period of time, and comfort your baby periodically without picking them up. 

For more info on the Ferber method (CIO) check here

http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified_7755.bc

and here

http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html  

If you don't have time for the whole article the bold exerpts provide the main points in the article.

Also, CIO is not the only method of sleep training  that exists, and I don't plan to use it... so please stop giving me the side eye because I will postpone my lunch for 2 hours to make sure my child is comfortable and happy. 

She doesn't need rice cereal until 4-6 months. It will not help her to sleep longer, and it would only 'keep her full longer' because her body can't digest it properly yet. Unless otherwise directed by the pediatrician, breastmilk will be her primary source of nutrition until she is 6 months, then secondary until she is at least one year old. Also, unless something happens to my supply, there is NO reason I will ever HAVE to supplement with formula.

I assure you, she will not suffocate in the moby wrap. I read the directions,  and I can hear/feel/see her breathing. 

Next time you're tempted to tell me that something is 'ok' because (insert offence here) was done around you, and even me when I was a child.. and we're fine- please bite your tongue. Seriously. I didn't ask you not to do something, or TO do something for you to argue with me about it and try to convince me otherwise. I don't ask you to wipe your ass a different way than you are used to because I think the way I do it is fine and dandy do I? NO!

So.. thanks anyway, but I'm all set. 

::takes a bow and ducks out::

My baby is 2 months old!

She had her 2 month checkup today! She's 9lbs 5oz, and 22.5 inches long! She also had her 2 month shots today, and she was so pitiful! It wasn't as bad as her hep b vac when she was a month old.. but it still hurt mommy's feelings pretty bad to see her screaming like she was.

I had planned to hit on a few other things but I'm totally exhausted. I will say that I have a bunch of cloth diaper info in the workings in wordpad. I'm not sure if I'm going to incorporate that into this blog, make a new blog for it, or find a free web host and just make a website.. but more than likely I will use the blog format. I'm just not sure if I'll make a second blog of it.

Nap time!

I feel like a single mom.

I see Neil for about an hour during the daytime mon-fri.. and when the weekend rolls around I'm up with the baby and he's in bed till god knows when. I feel bad trying to wake him up before he's really ready because he works so hard and so much.. but I miss him.. and I feel like I could use a little bit of a break on the weekends.. some help picking up the house.. a partner to make a game plan for dinner with. I'm tired of being alone all the time.

Breastfeeding.

Let me start off by saying that I'm not writing this with the intention of schmearing the name of formula feeding moms. I understand that breastfeeding vs. formula feeding is a choice, and a mother is entitled to make the choice that works best for her and her child. That being said.. wtf is it with all the anti-breastfeeding crap I'm hearing about lately.

Neil told me a few days ago that his work buddies are 'surprised' that I'm breastfeeding (and cloth diapering.. but that's not the issue we're discussing right now). They say it's "so primal" and they don't understand why I'm doing it. I was confused as to why anyone would be surprised that a woman breastfed her child.. I mean isn't that what everyone was forced to do before the invention of formula? Why else would a womans body produce milk after childbirth? Why aren't more people surprised when women choose to formula feed?

I guess I never really realized how many women just choose to formula feed. I always think 'haven't they read the studies? Don't they know the benefits? Why would they choose to get up and make a bottle in the middle of the night instead of just snuggling up to their baby and fall asleep feeding them? Also.. formula is wicked expensive.. why would anyone choose to spend 90 bucks a week on formula when there's the option to feed your kid for free? I understand that this point of view is incredibly naive of me. Of course there are women out there that just feel formula is a better choice for them.. but I don't fully understand why so many people look at breastfeeding in such negative light.

Here are just SOME of the things I've heard people say. I'm gonna be honest.. I might end up getting a little judgmental at this point. Please note, this doesn't have anything to do with women who choose not to BF because they can't or because it's just not right for them.. I'm only hitting on the negative things I've heard people say about it.

"It's so unnatural." - OK, I will never wrap my head around this one. I don't understand how anyone who has two brain cells to rub together could think that BFing is unnatural. What the hell else are boobs supposed to be for? A womans body produces milk following childbirth.

"It's gross and weird." - I can at least understand how some women might feel this way. One of Neils coworkers wives equates expressing breast milk to using the bathroom (fluids leaving the body?.. idk.. I think she's crazy) and formula feeds her kid, but pumps her breast milk to loose weight (BFing burns calories) and flushes it down the toilet (this should be a crime!)

"You have to change your diet, and eventually you will have to supplement with formula because they won't be getting enough from breast milk alone." - FALSE. Again, what do you think people did before the invention of formula? You do not need to change your diet to breastfeed. Can you go out binge drinking every day? No, but broccoli will not give your baby gas, and some spicy mexican food will not make your milk burn your little ones mouth. Alcohol leaves breast milk at the same rate it leaves your blood, so if you indulge in a glass of wine or a mixed drink all you need to do is wait 1.5 to 2 hours for it to leave your system. Also, BM is produced on a supply and demand basis. If your baby needs your body to produce more, he/she will feed more often until your supply catches up. As baby gets older and needs more calories, breast milk actually increases the amount of calories in the same volume of milk to meet your baby's needs. Cool!

"Breastfeeding ties you down." I never have to worry about having enough formula when I leave the house. I bring it with me sometimes just because I'm not entirely comfortable with the idea of BFing in public (without a nursing cover.. I want one but I don't have one) yet. So far I've done it at other peoples homes, and twice in the car, but without a cover, I'm not comfortable trying to get C latched on in a coffee shop just yet. Preparing a bottle and making sure I have enough to feed her while I'm out is annoying.. and it's just one more thing to worry about having in the diaper bag before I'm out the door. Also, breastfeeding only takes about 5 minutes longer than preparing and feeding a bottle.


I hate to sound like I'm bashing formula feeding moms. I'm really not so I hope that's not how this is coming off.. I just feel like there is a lot of negative light surrounding breastfeeding.. and I think if people were more informed maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I don't get why so many people think that it's so awful to do something that humans have been doing for thousands of years. Formula was invented as supplemental nutrition for premature infants, and years later women are suddenly looked down upon (by some) for choosing to feed their babies the way nature intended? It's gone so far in the US that laws actually had to be created to protect breastfeeding women. Women in the workplace, women in jail.. in public areas? I just don't get it. Just my two cents..

It's so lonely.

Neils hours suck. When I was still pregnant I could wait up for him. A few times a week C will just happen to be up to eat when he gets home from work, but more often than not, I'm up early with the baby and we are both sleeping when he gets home from work. As the summer approaches, and there are more nice days for people to go out and drink, there is more demand for alcohol and therefore Neil works longer days. 19 hours of overtime last week.. and at 10pm on a thursday he has 3 hours of overtime so far... it would be one thing if he worked your typical 9-5 and stayed late a few days of the week.. but his work day doesn't start until 130pm.. so basically he gets up around 11, leaves around 1230, and comes home anytime between 12-4am.

To top it all off, Camille is going through this horrible "I won't sleep in my own bed" phase, and no matter how deeply she's sleeping as SOON as I put her down she wakes up. I really don't like co-sleeping, but it's the only way I've been able to get her to sleep. I just want to cuddle up with Neil, and I can't. Half the time I can't even sleep in my bed. I'm more comfortable sitting up in a chair with her on my chest than I am laying in bed with her on my chest.. so on the chair in the living room is usually where I end up.

Weekends are the hardest.. because he's still on his work schedule, and I'm still on my mommy schedule.. so he sleeps until 1-2, and I'm up by 9 at the latest with the baby. I sit here in the chair and watch him in bed all morning. I see him every day, but I miss him so much.

Adventures in sleep deprivation.

I have gas but I'm afraid to fart because it might wake up my sleeping child 0_0

Ever since the 6 week growth spurt C has been a clingy, fussy, and constantly fighting sleep. Momma needs a break little one! She's definitely grown a ton though.. I can feel the difference in her weight and chunkiness when I pick her up. It's getting harder and harder to deny that my little baby is growing more quickly than I would like to admit. 

Neil works too much. We miss him :(

Exhausted.. I'm going to try and grab some sleep while she is still out. Goodnight world.